| After listening to my friends go on and
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| | order to get an unreserved spot between
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| on about their experiences playing golf,
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| | two bona fide foursomes, I would have to
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| I finally decided to take up golf again.
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| | arrive at the golf course at six forty
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| Except for sporadic forays with rented
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| | five, ready to play. That means I had to
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| clubs, I had not played golf since I
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| | get up at five thirty to get there in
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| caddied with my dad in the forties. He
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| | time. Arriving on time, I waited in the
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| did teach me the correct grip and took me
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| | ready area for one hour while my friend
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| out a few times as a bona fide golfer,
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| | waited in the parking lot, sure that I
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| but good I was not. In college, I was
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| | had gotten lost or run over. At the first
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| chosen to teach the grip to the novice
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| | tee, a third duffer asked to join us and
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| golfing students, but I never got to play
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| | I welcomed him gladly, hoping for a free
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| myself.Not owning a set of clubs, I
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| | golfing lesson I suspected that I needed.
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| haunted the area garage sales for a
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| | On the first tee, I was warned to watch
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| usable set. At the third garage sale a
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| | out for the stream crossing the fairway.
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| very nice set of clubs with a fairly new
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| | Three strokes later, I found out that the
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| bag leaned against the side of the
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| | water was still freezing cold from the
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| garage. Another buyer spotted the clubs
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| | winter. During the next five holes, my
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| at the same time, but I unashamedly raced
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| | partner used the walking time to remind
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| to get there first. The tag said $15.00,
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| | me of golf course etiquette. No talking
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| the woods were made of real wood and I
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| | on the green, no touching the sand before
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| bought them immediately. Chagrined to see
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| | hitting the ball out of the sand trap and
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| that the putter was missing, I planned a
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| | not to walk across the path of the
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| hint to the wife for an early birthday
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| | stranger's ball when taking out the flag.
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| present.Then it dawned on me that besides
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| | After I borrowed ten quarters for marking
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| the putter there were a few items
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| | my ball, he told me that there was a
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| missing. No balls or tees graced the
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| | button on my golf glove that could be
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| pockets. Golf shoes could be expensive
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| | removed for a marker.On the seventh tee,
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| and what about that special leather glove
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| | my driver decided to hit the ground about
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| that always hung out of the pro golfer's
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| | a foot behind the ball, sometimes
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| pocket? Add to the list a divot smoother,
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| | bouncing up to gently knock the ball off
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| a ball brush, a water bottle and a
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| | the tee and other times missing
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| matching rag to wipe your hands on.I got
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| | altogether. None of the unasked for
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| lucky with the shoes, having spotted a
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| | advice had any effect. At the eighth
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| like-new pair on a curb for pick-up. Only
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| | hole, a club monitor raced up to me with
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| one half size too large, I figured an
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| | a club I had left on the last green (my
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| extra pair of socks would solve that
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| | third lost club) and asked if it were
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| problem. Sears sold me a matching putter
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| | possible to initiate the practice of
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| and Costco Wholesale had no name
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| | picking up on the greens in order to
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| balls.Carefully choosing a friend who
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| | speed play. I guess that fact that I had
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| lived far away and who also played golf,
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| | to hit three balls for one of the
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| I arranged a day on the golf course. Two
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| | foursome behind us slowed the play
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| weeks before the date, I arrived early at
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| | somewhat. At the ninth hole I breathed a
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| the local golf range to harden up my
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| | sigh of relief only to be informed that
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| hands for the coming game. In twenty
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| | the next nine would be played on the
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| minutes I sported two authentic golf
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| | steepest part of the golf course. My body
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| blisters on my hand. The local pro
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| | felt that I had been run over by a truck
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| suggested snidely that I wear gloves on
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| | so I protested a headache and begged
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| both hands next time. The next day I
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| | off.Invited to play with a seldom seen
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| could hardly move my arms, but bravely
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| | golfer relative, I scraped the mud off my
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| hid my soreness from my all-knowing wife.
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| | irons, carefully chose eight balls with
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| The balls I hit seemed to be searching
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| | only small dents and loaded up the car.
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| for a new home, none of which landed in
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| | This time I wisely opted for a golf cart,
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| the same place. The wandering balls
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| | and Fortified with three aspirin, I was
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| preferred bounding to my left, so I kept
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| | prepared for eighteen holes. At the first
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| aiming my feet to the right in hopeful
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| | tee I was reveling in the knowledge that
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| windage, eventually facing sideways to
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| | whatever happened today would be hidden
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| the hole. I've heard that a slight hook
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| | from the eyes and ears of friends and
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| can be beneficial, but what I had didn't
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| | relatives alike when the golf pro asked
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| fit the category. I did feel a little
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| | if we would mind if he played with us. I
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| better when I discovered that I could
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| | agreed only if he didn't laugh. On the
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| retrieve a
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| | seventeenth hole, I vowed never to
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| half bucket of balls that littered the
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| | play golf again. I had run over the
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| landscape a few feet in front of the
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| | pro's ball with my cart.Retired to
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| practice tee. I always like to save
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| | writing, bicycling, furniture
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| money.My golfing partner insisted that in
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| | refinishing, and computer graphics.
|
