| Sometimes, your spouse can drive you up the wall. In | | | | reconcile, and then a one-armed man comes after |
| fact, if your husband is like mine, you're parked up by | | | | your husband, the cops will most likely blame you, |
| the molding at least twice a day. In brutal moments | | | | leaving you to scream, "It was not me! It was the |
| of pscyhotic insanity, you might even try to find | | | | one-armed man!" They'll think you've just watched |
| ways to convince him to tie blocks to his feet and | | | | too many movies and ignore your alibi.3. Not to |
| jump in the river. DON'T DO IT! No matter how good | | | | mention the fact that generally, murder attempts |
| an idea it might seem when you are collapsing in | | | | make it less likely for you to reconcile your |
| hysterical, stressed out fits, murdering your husband | | | | differences. Counseling is probably less hassle.2. Then |
| is never a good idea. In fact, here are ten reasons it | | | | there is all that stress about coming up with an alibi. |
| is such a rotten plan.10. The insurance company won't | | | | Although as a wife, you feel like you are always |
| pay up if you kill him, so you'll wind up having to work | | | | doing two - or ten - things at once, odds are good |
| two jobs to pay the rent.9. If you think he never | | | | that you can't really commit murder AND get your |
| helps with the housework now, wait until he's buried. | | | | hair done at the same time.AND THE NUMBER ONE |
| The odds are good he'll never fold laundry at that | | | | REASON NOT TO KILL YOUR HUSBAND:1. C'mon, |
| point.8. The kids may drive you bonkers now, but | | | | you know you love him. Sure, he can be an annoying |
| imagine how much crazier you will go without their | | | | pest at times, but you married him for a reason. You |
| dad to wind them up - allegedly burning all energy - | | | | probably get under his skin just as often. Work it out |
| right before bedtime.7. Orange neon jumpsuits make | | | | and save yourself the stress of trying to plan a |
| your complexion look nasty. There's no way around | | | | funeral from jail.Nola Redd, who has been happily |
| that.6. And if you think your husband hogs the hot | | | | married for over five years and will probably wind up |
| water now, wait until you have to shower with ten | | | | in jail once the one-armed man gets wind of this, is |
| or fifteen other prisoners at the same time.5. Lawyer | | | | an author on which is a site for Love Poetry. You can |
| fees are even more expensive than golf and boating | | | | read her blog, Write On! Plans & Probs with |
| charges. That's why the lawyers like to play golf and | | | | Publication, the story of a SAHM striving to get |
| go boating.4. If you try and fail and manage to | | | | published. |