| Sometimes, your spouse can drive you up the | | | | If you try and fail and manage to reconcile, |
| wall. In fact, if your husband is like mine, | | | | and then a one-armed man comes after your |
| you're parked up by the molding at least | | | | husband, the cops will most likely blame you, |
| twice a day. In brutal moments of pscyhotic | | | | leaving you to scream, "It was not me! It was |
| insanity, you might even try to find ways to | | | | the one-armed man!" They'll think you've |
| convince him to tie blocks to his feet and | | | | just watched too many movies and ignore your |
| jump in the river. DON'T DO IT! No matter how | | | | alibi.3. Not to mention the fact that |
| good an idea it might seem when you are | | | | generally, murder attempts make it less |
| collapsing in hysterical, stressed out fits, | | | | likely for you to reconcile your differences. |
| murdering your husband is never a good idea. | | | | Counseling is probably less hassle.2. Then |
| In fact, here are ten reasons it is such a | | | | there is all that stress about coming up with |
| rotten plan.10. The insurance company won't | | | | an alibi. Although as a wife, you feel like |
| pay up if you kill him, so you'll wind up | | | | you are always doing two - or ten - things at |
| having to work two jobs to pay the rent.9. If | | | | once, odds are good that you can't really |
| you think he never helps with the housework | | | | commit murder AND get your hair done at the |
| now, wait until he's buried. The odds are | | | | same time.AND THE NUMBER ONE REASON NOT TO |
| good he'll never fold laundry at that | | | | KILL YOUR HUSBAND:1. C'mon, you know you love |
| point.8. The kids may drive you bonkers now, | | | | him. Sure, he can be an annoying pest at |
| but imagine how much crazier you will go | | | | times, but you married him for a reason. You |
| without their dad to wind them up - allegedly | | | | probably get under his skin just as often. |
| burning all energy - right before bedtime.7. | | | | Work it out and save yourself the stress of |
| Orange neon jumpsuits make your complexion | | | | trying to plan a funeral from jail.Nola Redd, |
| look nasty. There's no way around that.6. And | | | | who has been happily married for over five |
| if you think your husband hogs the hot water | | | | years and will probably wind up in jail once |
| now, wait until you have to shower with ten | | | | the one-armed man gets wind of this, is an |
| or fifteen other prisoners at the same | | | | author on which is a site for Love Poetry. |
| time.5. Lawyer fees are even more expensive | | | | You can read her blog, Write On! Plans & |
| than golf and boating charges. That's why the | | | | Probs with Publication, the story of a SAHM |
| lawyers like to play golf and go boating.4. | | | | striving to get published. |